To be settled about being totally unsettled.
By: Erin Kuns
When I’m at a crossroads or facing uncertainty (of any kind), I tend to overthink and internalize my overwhelmed mind. You can give it whatever label you want: “spiraling” -- “lost” -- “preoccupied.” We all know that feeling— a complete flood of conflicting sensations and emotions, no matter what we call it. A couple of weeks ago, I was doing my day-to-day, and I caught myself really toiling over a significant crossroads coming up in my life and career. I wasn’t overly worried about it. But it was definitely in the back of my mind. I had been working so hard toward this goal, and here it was: a defining moment. I had prayed for this opportunity for years. The past few months have been grueling and exhausting.
On a Friday night, there was a worship night at a local church. As I stood there praising God for His great mercy and blessing in my life, I realized something: I was entirely at peace about the fork in the road. It would either be or not be.
Upon later reflection, I had to chuckle to myself. I remembered a scene from one of my favorite movies -- 10 Things I Hate About You. The gist is a ‘90s Seattle-based high school teenage adaptation of William Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew if you are unfamiliar.
Anyway, there is a scene where two of the characters walk between classes and comment on their rather ho-hum, average, normal everyday life. One of them asks: “Can you ever just be whelmed?”
Either path from that fork in the road was okay with me. I was, by all definitions, whelmed. Not overwhelmed; not underwhelmed. Just whelmed.
As I processed through my okay-ness, I was captivated by a passage of scripture:
“...he disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.” Hebrews 12:10b-13
When you rest in the sovereignty of God, your heart posture changes. The Spirit changes your expectations--fears--anxieties--unsettledness.
It was so evident that God had been preparing my heart for this moment. But I only could have gotten here by His grace and discipline.
“Blessed be the LORD, my rock, who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle.” Psalm 144:1
Through my submission to Him, His Word, and His authority over my life, I was able to be settled about being totally unsettled.
Often our trials are not active, aggressive, or outwardly combative. Instead, the testing of our faith and spiritual strength/resolve is quiet and internal in nature. Those defining seasons may be personal, but they can significantly affect our daily lives. Our work, our families, our friendships...everything is interlaced. And when our hope is rooted in the resurrection power and reality of Jesus Christ, we can fully (and confidently) acknowledge our dependence on Him.
Whatever will be, will be. His true identity as it was revealed to Moses remains revealed to this day.
“I AM WHO I AM...This is my name forever…”
Exodus 3:14 & 15
“...that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have the strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the goodness of God.
“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory…”
Ephesians 3:16-21a