It was because of grace.
I shared this a couple of years back on Facebook. I was reminded of it through a Facebook memory, and as I read it, it brought tears to my eyes of just how amazing God is. They were thankful tears. And I wanted to share about it again. The post read:
"I don't share much about my dad, but today on Father's Day, I want to share something that will hopefully encourage those who had an absent father. My dad was not always absent; we had some good years, some good memories from my recollection. He's a great cook, he's funny, and a hard worker. And, there were times where it was more peaceful if he wasn't around. I adopted insecurity as a young adult; there was so much uncertainty in my life growing up that it had its effects. As an adult, I see how powerful a father figure is in a child's life (child/youth/young adult). And although my dad wasn't the ideal present dad, he did teach me some beautiful life lessons. He taught me empathy. Nothing in life prepares you to be a parent until you are one. I understand the effects an upbringing can have on a person. I don't make excuses for him, but I certainly empathize with him. He also taught me the meaning of true forgiveness. Forgiveness is ironic because you do it for yourself and not for the other person. The bad memories don't just easily disappear, but they certainly don't control your emotions anymore. Somehow the memories are replaced with more of the good ones. Unforgiveness will always keep the bad things at the forefront. And lastly, to keep it short (lol), he taught me how to love unconditionally. I can list reasons not to love him, excuses of why, and reasons to define my feelings. Although, I have my own list of reasons why I shouldn't be loved, too. It's a beautiful thing how God makes beauty from ashes. He turns sorrow into joy, makes everything new again. I love my dad; I enjoy talking to him on the phone, knowing he is well. And I feel even more blessed with my heavenly Father, that through all these years, He was with me. He helped guard my heart from destruction. The enemy will try and use anything to plant a deep root of bitterness, but the ultimate protector guarded me all along. The Holy Spirit guided me and opened my spiritual eyes to see things I went through in a different perspective. So on this special day, as everyone praises the first man they ever loved, their dad's, I can too."
I can't help but be utterly grateful to my heavenly Father for all that He has done for me. He gave me the ability to see my dad through His eyes, with eyes of love and grace. There are a lot of things that shape us, from childhood experiences to the complexities of adulthood. Sometimes we don't recognize their effect until we face them, such as my insecurities, and we are unsure why. However, without God, I know I wouldn't be the person I am today. There is just no way. I can now say my security is in Christ and not in things or people of this world. My security doesn't depend on my abilities or my control over situations; it is solely in Christ. I know that if He created me and has me here where I am today, it is because of His unfailing & unconditional love for me. And that's enough to be grateful.
I share all this to share hope with you. I know for some, Father's Day can be difficult because you didn't have a father figure. So maybe there is a little anger, perhaps a little sadness; however, I pray that God will take you to a place of gratitude. Because He has been with you through all the times that maybe your dad wasn't. I believe that in gratitude, you find grace. Grace is undeserving. If we deserved it, it wouldn't be grace. Gratitude puts your focus on who was there and how far you have come, and grace emphasizes forgiveness for those who weren’t there.
Gratitude is said to be the greatest of all virtues. And it is a gift that only comes from our heavenly Father.
So for Father's Day, I am thankful to my heavenly Father and His unconditional love for me. I am grateful for my dad, who did what he could. And am tremendously grateful for my wonderful husband, the way he loves me, the way he loves our family, and the way He leads our home. I love this day because it recognizes the value of the role of a father.