Desires of the Heart
How difficult is it to believe that God has great plans for you? Well, it has taken me some time to fully embrace this truth.
As a wife and mother, my first priority is always to my family. I want to make sure they are taken care of; it's my nature. Sometimes, that leaves very little time for myself or the things I long to do, especially in the early years of child-raising, where it feels like you will never have a life again. That can leave ambitions and desires unmet, and it's hard to find a balance of feeling happy and fulfilled. Heck, you don't even have to be a wife or mother to feel this way. Life alone can have challenges that leave you wondering if you somehow missed this grand plan. Unexpected circumstances can lead to disappointments. I know, I've been there. And it can be hard to feel fulfilled when in your heart, the expectation was completely different.
I want you to know that even when our plans are not coming out as we hoped for, there is still something great to look forward to. Psalm 37:4 says, Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Delight in the Lord, and He will give
you the desires of
your heart.
Psalm 37:4
And one day, after reading this for like the hundredth time, something just spoke to me differently. For a long time, I thought, well, I'm doing all the right things. I love God, and I take care of my family; what about my wants, my "yo quiero," as my pastor so humorously puts it. Those desires weren't being met; it was very frustrating. Until one day it hit me.… that's not what that means at all!
I realized what the scripture was saying had nothing to do with my personal desires, but everything to do with the passions the Lord was going to give me! Wow, what an aha moment that was for me! God wants us to delight in Him, and in doing so, He is molding our hearts and giving us new desires. Desires, we could not dream up on our own. But in seeking Him, we start to desire what He put in us. The Lord wants us to live this amazing life, living out His purpose and will. The word of God says, His thoughts are not our thoughts, His ways are not our ways. Why would I ever trust my ideas or notions over God!
We can rest in knowing that God is in control and has a perfect plan for us. I was so focused on what I wanted that I wasn't allowing God to show me the gifts He had so intricately formed within me so that I could live out this grand plan He has for me. I remember praying one day, Lord, I want to know my purpose; what do I need to be doing right now. And as clear as water, this came in my head: no, don't focus on that, just seek me. To me, that was clearly the Lord speaking to me. I needed to delight in Him!
I've had my share of disappointments, and I think the most challenging part of overcoming disappointment is trusting and believing that what's to come will not be another disappointment. The beautiful thing is that delighting in the Lord takes the burden off performing. It allows His desires to bring fulfillment to our soul like we can't imagine possible. It doesn't depend on your job, responsibilities, talents, personal satisfaction, not on anything; just you delight in God.
I can identify things in my life now that I credit God for, like new desires and ambitions. I love to inspire others with hope in God's word. I would never have imagined that there would be so much fulfillment in what I am doing now. I've always been a creative person, but I never thought my creativity could inspire others by creating and writing. And that only scratches the surface. I want to know Him more, and I know He will continue to give me the desires of my heart. The Lord can help you discover these things, acknowledge them, and live them out too.